Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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