but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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