you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
