dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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