..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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