I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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