bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Randomize
