then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize