It's just like the Real World with babies
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
