I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
