is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
