You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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