dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
