remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize