is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
