He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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