Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
