kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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