barbara walters just said penis...
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
