i barfeds in our rink
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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