its not stalking. its research.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
