I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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