and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
