my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
