vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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