i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
