I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
The beer is more important than you right now.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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