i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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