Is it normal to miss your booty call?
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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