The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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