apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
