He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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