I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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