Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize