he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
