you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
