We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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