I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Please, let me fuck your mom
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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