your room smells of hookers.
And success
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
