I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
