Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
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