Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
