our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
