just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Randomize
