I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize