I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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