hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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