I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Randomize
