Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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