Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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