I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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