those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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