You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize