first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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