Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
