the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize