she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
