i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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