i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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