Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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