Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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