There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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