if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Randomize
