Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
