chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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