I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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