Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
