1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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