the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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